What is a relationship? According to the dictionary it is an emotional connection or other association between people. It is a paring of one or more people that a shared interest. The more binding question is how to make a long lasting relationship. For some it is a simple gesture, for some it is the hardest thing in the world. So how do people of God build special, long lasting relationships with one another?
For starters an honest relationship takes two people looking to be happy. Any relationship must be founded on what is beneficial and loving between two people. With the new view of relationships set by the media and the public's perception of Hollywood, that doesn't leave much for people to build on. The average marriage in this day and age seems to be between 3 and 10 years. This leads people to believe that they can follow the examples set by the Hollywood starlets to make a relationship. The real question is, are these people following the rule of "Do what makes you happy"? Most celebrity marriages fail because some are merely based on the power card. Two top Hollywood stars marrying makes for a power couple. But back in the real world, most people fight for a relationship to withstand the test of time.
Happiness is found when the two people come together and the experience is meaningful and brings joy to two people. For example, you would not see a combination of two people (in most cases) that want to kill one another. Most relationships are grounded in this behavior and most individuals seek out a similar person who will share in their happiness. The reason happiness is import is because if you are not happy it will lead to a division between the couple because of disagreement in feelings. If one person in the relationship is not happy it is almost a guarantee that the other party will not be happy either. The main goal of happiness is to ensure that both people are comfortable. You begin to see in the body language of some people change when their mood begins to change towards another.
Decision making is another key factor in making a working relationship, especially in those looking into getting married. For those looking into being wed, listen up. When you get married two people will become one in union with God. So decisions will be split evenly between man and woman, husband and wife. No longer will two people be split, in most cases. In a lasting relationship the decision making will be something that the two of you will agree upon and in the end will make you happy. For instance, the division of money and the payment of bills is something to be decided equally, the religious upbringing of children in the relationship, or even the decision to have children is something to be agreed on. When one person favors something more or less than the other member of the relationship then usually there is a problem, and in order to make the relationship work there must be a mutual agreement of some variety reached.
If there is not an agreement made then talking to one another should be done or also looking into the comparability of the relationship itself should be done. This stems back to happiness. Agreeing on feelings from one person to the next will make both parties happy. This again is why most people find favorable people to begin a relationship with. These people share common goal sets, they have common interests in music or television. People seeking to have children commonly seek out people similar to them that have the desire to have children. Thus it is a safe assumption before considering getting married, map out your goals and see what the two of you ant commonly from your marriage. If there are no similarities then sit down and map out a five year plan to let each other know where the other one wants to be in that time. These things will help you in building comparability with the person in whom you show an interest.
For those having issue with relationships, there is always the counseling method. With most marriage or relationship counselors, they examine the relationship as a whole and begin to look for the places where the partnership is incomplete. From this the two people try to come to terms and see why the relationship has not or is not working. The counselor serves as a moderator for the conversation and helps to move along the process in a healthy and orderly manor. Most commonly couples will seek out a pastor or a priest from their local place of worship. This can from time to time be helpful because being a person that is close to the individuals involved can more clearly read the expressions of the couple and have had time to get to personally know the two. Some churches, Catholics, primarily require couples wanting to get married to attend classes on preparedness. These classes examine the relationship, wants, concerns, and help couples building strong lasting relationships with one another. The classes are not forced by most church communicaties but are highly recommended.
The last key to a working relationship and is the most important aspect of where your marriage is headed is, where is God in your relationship? God is the key to all things. He is the father of all things and Creator of heaven and earth. He is the beginning and the end and the most important part of any lasting relationship. Where you put God can be the building block of a healthy relationship, or the wrecking ball. God will provide for those people that trust in him and do his work faithfully. Those who believe and ask forgiveness of their sins will be forgiven in the time of judgement. Faith is important when joining two people especially when there are children involved in the equation. Deciding what faith to bring the child up as is important and a decision some people struggle with. Children tend to mimic the actions of their parents. It is important to know what you want to teach your children because as they grow older the actions or inactions will effect their personality. Teaching them a belief system is a great thing as they will begin to gave their own relationship with God that they can build on. But in order to accomplish this you must first decide what you want to teach them. Putting God first is always a great idea as the fact that if you don't, some times it may get pushed to the back burner or forgotten. It is also easier to teach young ones about God earlier on so that they will no have to play catch up later on in life. Also it is important for a couple to put God first in a relationship in order to more easily express your feelings. As Christians we set boundary lines for our actions and if we forget God and act as though he is not present then it will show in our actions.
So we see now the importance of the relationship and the foundations we build. We see the need in team work with the decisions that we will make everyday, we see that happiness is a key in keeping couples together longer because two people coexist better when they are both happy instead of not. We also see that it is key to know God and know where it is that we put him in our relationships. More simply put and in fewer words I leave you with these words of wisdom:
Go out into the world and find eventually that person that shares your goals, makes you happy, loves God and loves you. These things will be the foundation for the rest of your life.
Have a good day and God bless you.
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